Lance says no thanks to the family Thanksgiving get together.
The travel, the expense, the lousy customer service, the no so "world-famous" dishes, the annoyingly secretive and braggadocious relatives are all not worth it.
He ponders why he should put up with all the preceding just to spend time with people he doesn't see or speak with all year long.
Lance also compares Turkey versus ham, versus Vegan, people.
Vegans are automatically out. They'd be thankful to not have anyone enjoy animal products. Instead, how about a nice slice of highly processed disgusting Tofurkey.
Turkey people are traditionalists who take pride in preparing a tasty bird.
Ham people are lazy. They' rather stand in or on line (East Coast v. West) to let someone else do the cooking and cut down on cleaning.
Yams aren't usually yams. "Yam" is just a marketing gimmick. Cranberries are always good, but don't talk about how they help urinary tract infections at the table.
Now, be grateful for, and enjoy, another fine episode, and don't be a turkey!