Smarty Pants Lance
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion?
Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine!
In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial lawyer- hold your applause- shares his unique point of view inspired by all manner of everyday, and not so everyday, topics.
Topics include, but are not limited to- who else but an attorn…
Recent Episodes
11
Feb. 4, 2023
Today's Music Sucks And So Did Disco Duck
Lance talks about today's pop and country music and why it sucks. He opines it's a filtering issue. There's just no filter on what flushes down the internet stream. There used to be record companies and radio and TV programmers standing guard. Though, all of them must have been asleep at the switch with Disco Duck, Muskrat Love, et al. Et al. is a legal term - Google it! If anyone, and he means anyone, can record at home, and dump their cough, cough, "craft" onto the net there's no one to say, H
10
Jan. 27, 2023
Sex Sells, Clickbait Yells.
Lance teases about clickbait, air-headed celebrity endorsements, how sex sells- well, duh- and why he keeps getting click bait on Meta- which he still calls Face Book- about a photo of side boob of some model he's never heard of nor cares about. Are jingles superior sales tools compared to celeb endorsements? Is Lance permanently programmed by soda jingles from his childhood? What about a celeb who just happened to wear an article of clothing or jewelry and suddenly fans are crazed to get it? La
9
Jan. 20, 2023
Lookin' For Work in All The Zoom Places.
Lance talks about employment interviews. He begins by telling us about work he did as a kid and for which he didn't apply. This work is known as, "chores." With marketing know-how, Lance suggests a new name for chores: "Blessings." "Hey, son, I've a few blessings for you to give the family. You may start by cleaning the toilet." Moving in to job interviews- often these days via Zoom- he describes the process, beginning with recruiters. You might think military recruiters are slithery sorts.
8
Jan. 14, 2023
Better Mousetrap
Lance builds a better mousetrap thinking that'll lead to great success. It's what he heard during his growin' up years. Did building a better mousetrap help him get ahead in a government job? Hah, no. What about when he built a better one for private employers? PFFFHAHAHA, norious. Where did Lance go wrong? Has he learned a lesson? What are the meanings of megalomaniacal and vainglorious and how do they apply to his episode? Take a listen to find out their meanings and much more.
7
Jan. 6, 2023
Somethin' Somethin Turned Nothin' Nothin'
Lance describes how his plans for not just a little, but a lot, of "somthin' somethin" turned into nothin' nothin over a four day weekend. There was always some darned excuse: too tired from the week, too bloated and gassy after that outrageously expensive dinner, drank too much, again, and the, "Let's just watch one more Hallmark movie and I'll be ready, which leads to watching yet another Hallmark Movie, and another, until coma. Lance learns the valuable lesson, real romance is free. If someon
6
Dec. 30, 2022
Happy New Year 2023- You Didn't Vote for Trump Did You!?
Lance talks about New Years. He tells us NYE means different things depending on your age. One thing that wasn't different for decades was Dick Clark on the tele and watching "The Ball" drop." What if the ball suddenly dropped way too fast and smashed at the bottom into tiny crystal pieces? Now that would be a harbinger worse than voting for Trump! Speaking of which he tells his take on meeting a woman at an L.A. NYE party. First thing out her mouth would likely be, "You didn't vote for Tru
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